A Day in a Life of an Overseas Nanny/Tutor in Milan, Italy
Written By Susannah Loraine — Nanny & Freelance writer
Almost seven years ago, exhausted and disillusioned with London, I made the decision to embark on an Italian adventure. I sought a slower pace of life, new experiences and dreamed of learning a second language.
The night before I left, I passed the quiet, dark hours wide-awake and wondering if I was about to make a huge and costly mistake.
But here I am years later with an almost snobby appreciation of good food and wine, near permanent tan lines and the ability to haggle like the locals at the fruit and veg market down the road. I’ve made a friendship group of women from all over the world who also know the joys and struggles of a life lived far from home. None of this would be my reality without the job that brought me here.
How I became an overseas nanny
After training as a teacher and working as a nanny for six years, I decided it was time to look at overseas positions. I contacted an agency and considered placements across the world before accepting a position in Milan with three boys who were aged four months, four and five. My role has been shared care as mum doesn’t work, and I work six days across the week and weekend. During term time I work around 32 hours a week, and around 45 during school holidays. Over the course of the year, I often work fewer than my contracted hours, so I’m always happy to be flexible and receive the same understanding in return.
The family are Italian, but lived in London for many years where they retain a home which we visit often. The family plan to move back to the UK at some point, so my main task is to make sure the children are fluent in English, have a strong understanding of British culture and are ready at any time to seamlessly enter the British school system.
I can proudly say the three children are fluent in English, with the Grandparents even complaining that the youngest speaks better English than Italian!
I live-in with the family but have my own entrance, kitchen, bedroom and bathroom in a far side of the house. Originally, I worked longer hours and travelled with the family extensively, but as the children have grown my hours have become shorter and I travel with them far less.
Living and working in Italy has also made me adapt my own expectations; some of the differences between British and Italian family life took getting used to, but they've given me a fresh perspective on childcare.
A typical weekday
I start my working day at 4pm, so I can enjoy slower mornings. I wake around 9am (I’m a bit of a night owl!) and have a coffee and breakfast before I workout. I’ll then work on my projects and side-hustles, read, run errands or meet friends before the school day ends. I also like to visit museums and other popular places as weekday mornings are when they’re quietest!
If I pick up the children, I’ll leave at 3.15pm and walk around 30 minutes to their British school. We catch the city’s historical trams back to the house, or take a taxi if time is tight to make it to activities. The children do competitive swimming, tutoring and music lessons as well as the usual appointments and playdates. The afternoons are always a chaotic game of divide and conquer!
I fit academics into the schedule where I can, so I’m always prepared with notes on my phone of what each child needs to work on and have learning materials prepped to grab when we find the time. We prioritise school homework and then move on to preparing for UK private school entry and the associated exams.
If the children’s mother is picking them up, I will use the time until they arrive home to organise their rooms and plan homework materials.
When the children return they empty their school bags and put away shoes and coats. Then it’s snack-time, which often looks more like lunch – these boys can really eat! They might have a sandwich and fruit, charcuterie or left-over pasta. The family has a very relaxed attitude towards food, with the main focus being on healthy and filling main meals. There are no sugar or treat limits, which is very different to what I’ve experienced working for British families. But as the nanny, I do always offer healthier snacks first and very high sugar/processed foods are generally avoided.
They are very active boys so regardless of what they eat for a snack, they are always hungry for dinner. I am not required to do any cooking in my role as they have round-the-clock housekeepers who are also fabulous cooks.
After activities and dinner, my charges all have a shower, put away their dirty laundry and prepare their uniforms and books for the next day. This helps to ensure their mornings run smoothly and that they take ownership of their belongings. I set their rooms up for the night and then at 8.30pm it’s time for me to leave. If they are ready earlier, they can watch some TV and I will use that time to finish prepping for the following days.
If both parents are travelling, I will also do the morning school run. I’ll wake the children up at around 7.15am to get dressed and ensure their bags are packed with a healthy snack, water bottle and any books they need. They aren’t too keen on breakfast and tend to be more inclined to eat on the tram journey to school so I always make sure I have some healthy snacks or sandwiches. Not a typical breakfast, but as long as they have some fuel for learning, I’m happy! I drop them off at 8.30am and then I am free until I pick them up.
If I am babysitting or proxy-parenting, I like to have the boys in bed by 9pm, so that they can read or do a quiet activity. The parents are very relaxed when it comes to bedtimes and the children are typically ready to sleep between 9-10.30pm.
Before bed I administer their medications, which include a nightly injection for the oldest boy. This was a little nerve-wracking at first but over the years I’ve become comfortable managing it, and he is always very brave!
On Fridays I work between 2-6pm as the children have a half day at school. We tend to have a more relaxed afternoon, completing a bit of homework or having playdates. The oldest child is now 12 and usually will have lunch with his friends and go to the park so I focus on his younger brothers.
Friday evenings for me are usually spent having an aperitivo with friends (cocktails with pre-dinner snacks) or going for dinner. Milan is such a fun and relaxed city, so every Friday night looks different for me! I don’t like to be out too late as I usually work a full day on Saturday.
Weekends
Weekends are usually where I work my longest hours. I’ll start at 9.30am on a Saturday and/or Sunday, and we’ll get straight to homework. I’ll flip between the boys making sure English schoolwork is completed, and Mum will manage any Italian tasks.
Around 12.30pm I will take a long lunchbreak of around three hours, while the children eat with their parents and relax. When I return we might go to the park, see friends or do an activity such as painting, cooking, baking, crafts or sports. Later on, I make sure they have their showers and their rooms are organised and ready for the night. If they are out as a family for dinner, I make sure they are dressed appropriately and have a book or card game to occupy themselves at the restaurant. I usually finish between 7-8.30pm, by which time I’m ready for dinner myself and a book in bed!
Sundays look more or less the same, but they might take a trip to nearby Lake Como or the countryside for lunch, in which case they are usually gone between 11am-5pm. In that case, I’ll make sure they are appropriately dressed and have a backpack of books, card games and a football.
When the children were younger I would accompany them as an extra set of hands which meant seeing some lovely places such as little-known spots around Lake Como and beautiful country estates near Bergamo. These trips were lovely but now the boys are older and more independent I prefer to stay in the city. I’ll often meet friends for lunch, run errands/catch up on cleaning or do some reading. If I’m lucky my free time will align with an F1 race!
The family also take regular weekend trips, in which case I have the weekend off although mum may ask me to help out on Sunday evening when they return. I also pet sit their cat Sissi.
School Holidays and travel
This family loves to travel! In the February half term, I join the kids on a skiing trip to Gstaad, Switzerland. They have ski school during the day, so I can enjoy the hotel spa and gym, or take long walks in the vibrant countryside. After their day on the slopes I’ll tutor the boys, take them to the hotel pool and have dinner with them if the parents have an adults-only dinner. It’s a beautiful, quiet village and a welcome break from city life!
At Easter, we usually all travel to London or they might visit their grandparents in Tuscany. Last year we all went to New York and in the past have visited Spain, Greece and the Maldives!
During the summer, the family travels constantly. They do two weeks in Gstaad at a camp, a week on the Amalfi coast with one set of grandparents, two weeks in Tuscany with the other grandparents, at least one week in London and a big two-week trip somewhere in the world.
As travelling for these months is intense, we have an arrangement where I spend half the summer working with them and half the summer off, which usually means I’ll join them in London and Gstaad, and last year we travelled to the west coast of the USA for a road trip visiting California, Vegas and Arizona! I have had some incredible experiences with them and always have plenty of downtime.
As the children grow older my role when travelling is evolving. My main focus is keeping up some academic work and I like to use this time to hone their writing skills. We plan, draft and neatly write stories and letters, which is a little more fun and abstract than most learning and I encourage them to keep holiday diaries of all these amazing experiences! I keep a folder of all their pieces of writing which are always so lovely to look back on. We recently rediscovered an imaginative series that the oldest child had written between 6-7 years old, called the adventures of Chief Massimo!
Seven years later
Part of being a nanny, particularly in a long-term placement, is being adaptable to the changes a family goes through over the years. It has been an honour to watch these boys grow up from the early years to now entering the teenage phase! Having built such a long and intimate family connection with them, I know they will be a part of my life as the years press on, regardless of whether I am their nanny or not.
The memories and milestones have made it all so rewarding, from gondolas through the canals of Venice, to helicopters over the Strait of Bonifacio aiming for the little-known islands of Corsica, to overcoming my fear of the sea by snorkelling in the middle of the Indian ocean! There’s been missed flights, medical emergencies, intense sibling rivalries and an unprecedented global pandemic.
One thing I've learned is that nannying is never just childcare. In any given day I'm a tutor, organiser, mentor, cheerleader, travel companion, language teacher and occasionally amateur nurse. The variety is exactly what has kept me loving the role after so many years.
So when I think back to that anxious night before I got on the plane, I wish I could send my younger self a message: there’s nothing to be scared of at all.
Want to hear more…
Head to The Training Hub on Evelyn & Bloom Connect to watch our webinar with Susie to hear her full story & the path she is now heading in to see if it might inspire you on your professional journey.
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